Atlas's 700mg Trip


date: 12/6/97

Wizard used a process to separate the DxM from the syrup... we assembled nine of us (Wizard, Scary, Crazy, Ballerina, Guru, Mother, Cylinder, Mixmaster, and me, Atlas) together at Crazy's house at the edge of a road and popped our gel caps there. 700mg each. Wizard and Crazy got hit right away, partially from the fumes from the cooking robo. the rest of us waited. i was the next to go... it hit me suddenly, when i was talking to Ballerina about heroin, and i fell into an alice in wonderland well hole in the couch. i was convinced that Wizard was an android, and so i stood on a table and pressed my hands on the ceiling. all of the sudden i was holding up the whole ceiling, and then, consequently the whole world. they called me Atlas. i was afraid to let go, but they convinced me that it could stay up by itself. so i spun it like a basketball on my finger. i placed a globe light into Guru's hand and he started to trip as well. i heard music coming from the downstairs apartment and thought there was a way to get there or maybe that there was a hole in the wall and so i opened the stove and looked inside for a hole. this was all mild though, and soon i was getting the itch. i wanted to put my head under the faucet to make it stop, but they told me to put my head on the floor and it would stop itching. instead though, the parts of my head that were on the floor started burning. my body was being eaten away by acid... after Mother soothed me with lotion, i was off to Manny's, a mental jazz bar with a sign of blinking light bulbs that spelled out "M-A-N-N-Y-'-S" in an arch. then i saw plates of vegetables with pictures of famous people in the center. hulk hogan in a plate of carrots. more and more i was falling into a dark place though, and through most of the night i was convinced that Wizard was trying to kill me. Wizard, actually, was imagining me with a severed head, "and your little body just...." (Wizard cuts himself off). it was amazing to me that everyone was able to take care of each other. i would shout out for Scary and everyone would be with her in the bathroom. i felt sick and shouted "HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP" until someone came to rescue me. they put a pot underneath my face. there were evil songs on the stereo and i kept on shouting "evil song" so that someone would change it, but Ballerina couldn't read the CD cases so she let Mixmaster change the music. i envisioned the whole house like a community of space-aged pioneers and we were spinning in the house, which was spinning on top of a big rock in outer space. then the room became spherical and i moved to the couch. which was a very odd shape. soon i was sitting inside a locket with miniature people, and seeing rows of faces go by me. women with big noses. i shouted numbers and letters but couldn't go straight, and ended up saying "A B D C." i kept on screaming that Wizard was trying to kill me and he'd come over and hug me and i couldn't let him go. i told him i was giving him one last kiss because i was convinced i was going to die. he had no face but i found skin on top of his head and kissed him there. for a period of time i blacked out, but the final moment i remember is me feeling sick again and Wizard rushing me to the bathroom where we knelt before the toilet in prayer. i didn't vomit. we went back in and lay with people who were trying to convince me they were on ecstasy and watched the lights spinning on the ceiling. i lay down again and suddenly they played the opera "einstein on the beach" and the lady counting brought me down. i felt like i was in a centrifuge. Cylinder gave me that word. so we watched ourselves come down and spin and try to walk and maybe eat cookies and maybe drink water. i got up at one point and looked out the window... "the real world is out there" and everything inside seemed so space-like... then we went upstairs and i opened the closet door and Wizard was sitting in there like a buddha. Crazy and i went into the closet too and sat in the dark and watched the light from the cracks making patterns across the back wall. i made some runs up and down the stairs for water for people and then sat in the kitchen while Guru played guitar. beautiful tempting melodies. Wizard and i sat in the kitchen after Guru left and talked about how "i've changed my mind." he asked me about what? and i said no i've changed my mind. like into something else. and the film about my life is called "Atlas does everything." then Wizard and i conceived a story (based on Cylinder saying that if there was a film about her life what would it be called?... "sex appeal.... no, CYLINDER!") about the brass cylinder through which the turtle who's an attorney and lives in an industrial swamp must crawl to reach the end (sitting on the female threaded end) where he councils the hot dog salesman that he should put relish on the hot dog. he can't communicate to the courtroom (in our first role play version the turtle says "rudely" in the courtroom and i said judge gets made because his wife's name is Ruda) because he's a turtle and Wizard says turtles can't speak so Wizard consulted Mother (who by now was just getting into her trip), who just said that the hot dog salesman has to get a new attorney. so we sat in the bedroom upstairs and then Wizard started playing on his keyboards and i fell asleep. woke up to a cup of tea. the room had stopped spinning and the world was right side up. and everyone smiled. "hmmm... it's hard to explain.. it's like you take everything you've ever experienced in your life and you INVERT it, so it's nothing like anything you've ever experienced, but somehow it all seems familiar in the most distant way. BAD but GOOD." -me, post-trip

-Atlas


1998 The Third Plateau
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